How awful that someone would neglect your heart like that. I will offer that I have relatives in the emergency services and they see so much struggle, injury, and death that they get desensitized to it. I think that is what you experienced. But I want to thank you for the a wonderful testimony I hear in your post. The joy you had with him to the very end. So many relationships just fall apart under that stress and for even less. You just told us with your words how much you loved him, and what you described is how much he loved you. He did not let his fate prevent him from expressing that love to the end. Your love strengthened him and he was strengthening you to the end. As for what happened in the mortuary, don’t let them undo what your husband offered you, reassurance resting in the love he left you with. I offer what Jesus taught us about that. Your husband was not in that body anymore. Jesus said of the moment that our soul leaves the body, “Wheresoever the body is, there will the vultures be gathered together.” Think about how horrible it sounds that our loved one’s body might be subject to vultures, yet Jesus reassured us, we are gone from that vessel. He also said, “Fear not those that after they have killed the body, they have no more that they can do to you.” Your husband was not in that body anymore. Trust Him. They did not hurt him. You will see your husband again. He promised.
Is your heart troubled? Are you feeling like the psalmist, who asked his own soul, "Why are you in despair? And why have you become disturbed within me?" One of the hardest parts of knowing peace is understanding how it has nothing to do with control. If you're having trouble with trust or finding the words to pray above the howling of the scary storms, feel free to offer up these words to the Lord now!