My husband died in 2012. We very close and good friends. In his hospital bed we would chat and laugh to the suprise of nurses. The day when the dark cloud fell, i was holding his hand and laughing with him as usual, he suddenly stopped talking and was put on life support and few hours later he was gone.He was wrapped in a white cloth and was made to escort his body to the mortuary where he was thrown like a log. I was traumatized and have been struggling upto now the fear i underwent. A good friend of mine encouraged me strongly to remain firm and news of her death on 27.8.17 has made me to start over. How will i face this harsh reality. May God help me and take away this fear in me, its a very awful and akward experience .
Though we may realize our faith is most strengthened, not in the easy times of life, but in the most trying, it’s often hard to walk that out once we're swirling in the midst of it all. We long for carefree days, yet sometimes, God takes our hand and leads us straight into the darkest of times. Not to harm us, ever. But to bring greater strength, character, trust, beauty, and perseverance to the deepest part of our souls. 
We begin by acknowledging that Jesus is Lord, that we live in grace and that eternity awaits us. The enemies of peace are fear, shame and pain. All of these are dissolved by the redemptive Christ and his love. Even when we ask for this peace and don't feel it - it is there underpinning the whole of our being. Like a safety net beneath us, this peace that surpasses all understanding is a constant. It does not change, it cannot fail. It is wider and deeper than we can ever imagine.
Oh Lord, sometimes my insides feel like a battle zone, where missiles are falling too close to home. Other times I'm caught in an endless storm, with thoughts flying out of control. Confusion reigns, and defeat creeps in to steal my joy. I need your peace—the deep-down-in-your-heart kind that stays with me day and night and speaks confidently into the wind. Calm my anxious spirit, Lord; all the attacking "if-onlys" and "what-ifs" fill me with needless worry.
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